By Sonic Rain

My name is Sonic Rain I am a Hmong Queer artist. Born in France, I grew up in Saint Paul Minnesota. This photo was taken at the Hat Trick Lounge in downtown Saint Paul at my first CD release concert. Uncertain and nervous, I thought no one would come, but we had over 100 attendees. I’m deeply grateful to everyone who came to support. This was a remarkable moment for me as a Hmong Queer artist striving and struggling to be accepted in the Hmong community.

Alarm rings and it’s 8am. Time to load the sound equipment, smoke machine, lights, microphones, guitar– everything we’ll need for sound check into my small Toyota Corolla. I get there and the sound guy is late. No worries don’t freak out stuff like this happens way too often. Breathe. I got this. It’s now been 4 hours of setting up, sound checking and making sure every last detailed is handled. I finally head home to prepare myself for the big night. 8:00pm and it’s time to head out to the Hat Trick Lounge. Nervous and uncertain I thought no one would come. But when I opened those doors the room was packed from front to back. Squeezing my way through the crowd trying to find my bandmates as people congratulate me. We find each other head upstairs for a huddle, calibrating our energies and good vibes. I glance over the balcony and I see everyone. My heart grows full, thankful and my confidence elevates washing away my anxiety. I head back downstairs found an empty corner in the snack machine area. I take a moment to collect my thoughts and I say to myself “you’ve been working tirelessly for the past 3 years. Reinventing yourself, picking up new musical skills and exploring music genres. Today is November 8th, 2014 and it’s your first CD release concert. I told you, you could do this.” Inhale, exhale. My phone vibrates. It’s 11pm. Curtain call and it’s show time. This is a celebration for the Queer community and marginalized people. My CD project is called Unique. It’s one of my songs on the album written by me to empower the Hmong Queer folks to be brave, to own your body, to be free in expressing yourself, be unapologetic to society and speak against homophobia. This is me performing on stage singing, rapping, and playing the guitar; sharing my passion with friends, family, and people who were curious enough to come. Everything I’ve been writing and making is finally being exposed. I am vulnerable but I’m not scared. I believe in the strength of telling real life experiences to people who may find it comforting or challenging. I was only an idea until Sonic Rain became real.

As Queer folks, we are often forgotten and disqualified for opportunities because of our sexual orientations. Being Hmong, our culture has strong traditional rules that teach men and women how to be a “relevant” and “respected” person. These rules do not serve me, they oppress me. We struggle to have healthy conversations about Queerness inside our community and how to be inclusive. Recognizing these struggles, it never stopped me from doing what I love and how I want to serve in the community. These battles added fuel and motivation for me to keep pushing the work forward, trust my process, create visibility and start having conversations about identities. Turning negatives to positives.
There is always work to tackle, but nonetheless, I have seen in recent years changes and the growth of Hmong social entrepreneurs, educators, and self-starting organizations. I had the pleasure of building relationships and connecting with leaders who are resilient and on the wave of creating visibility and support systems for marginalized and underrepresented people like myself. I love the Twin Cities and what it has to offer for Asian Americans. We’re definitely breaking grounds and the youth are rising. What I look forward to in the near future are the spaces Asian Americans will create, our missions we’ll serve, gaining allies and being active allies for our communities. Also, raising social awareness, being intentional and not doing work for the aesthetics of social status recognition.