By Su-Fei Wong McKhann

I spent a fair amount of my young adult life fighting (perhaps even resenting) that people instantly made assumptions about me – both good and bad – based on my external appearance. As a graduate student and a young professional, I was determined to be known for my abilities and wanted to downplay my Asianness that I perceived was a liability. Some stereotypes can be harmful and demeaning, but trying to ignore ANY of it meant I was missing out on embracing ALL of me. (I’m Chinese by ethnicity, Singaporean by birth and upbringing, and have lived in three countries and three states in the past 30 years.)

Only recently (the joys of introspective middle age!) have I come to realize that leaning into all that I am helps me be the best version of me. I celebrate and cherish my Chinese heritage and upbringing. I believe that it gives me a valuable and unique lens and perspective because of how and where I’ve grown up and lived. For example, I value putting community first, speaking out for others whose voices are not heard, and respect for all (even when it’s hard).

In the 10+ years we’ve called Minnesota home, I’ve found a supportive network and community of friends who have completely different ethnic and cultural backgrounds. We all bring our authentic selves exemplified in how we show up for each other, express genuine curiosity about our differences both cultural and intellectual, and we learn from and grow with each other. My Minnesota community has shown me that by embracing and acknowledging our differences, we can be open and honest about what can bring us together. My husband and I are grateful that we landed here and get to bring up our children in this community. Even as “transplants”, our family has felt loved and supported. My hope for my children is that they will proudly self-identify with all the parts that make them greater than the sum of the whole – part-Chinese, part-Caucasian, wholly Minnesotan.

Check out the rest of #MinneAsianStories.