“The Power of Kindness”

Dara Xiong

Hmong | Maplewood, MN | she/her/hers | Private Sector

My first time riding a public transit bus was late winter two years ago when I first moved to St. Paul. I remember feeling chilly because of the cold. The loud music from my headphones drowned out the world after a long day of work. I noticed that in the seat a couple rows from me sat an older woman, and at the back of the bus sat an older man. He said something to her, and she responded. Like everyone around me, I didn’t pay much attention until I heard the woman loudly announce to the bus driver that the man was using very vulgar language at her.

I lowered the volume of my music. The bus driver didn’t stop or move. He didn’t say a word. The woman continued shouting throughout the bus for someone to help. I looked around and saw that the rest of the riders seemed to be older businessmen. They were all in suits and clearly bigger and stronger than me, but no one moved. There I was, a short Hmong woman; I was afraid, but it angered me watching what was playing out right in front of me. The man in the back continued to insult the woman.

Having been a victim of bullying, I was well aware of that feeling of hopelessness. I remember crying during class when it happened, but no one helped. They watched me being bullied and did nothing. I remember even my teacher didn’t even say a word. The bullying was so horrific that I ran out of the classroom. I felt so embarrassed and alone. As this memory played in my head, the woman’s shouts for help seemed to become louder in my heart. I did not want her to feel like that 14-year-old girl crying in the hallway.

Although I was scared that I would get harassed for helping, I stood up. I walked up to the woman, sat next to her, and told her my name. That simple gesture allowed us to start a conversation. I learned she was on her way to a birthday party for a friend. Then, as I suspected, the man changed his target to me. I heard what he said, but ignored him and just continued talking to the woman. Suddenly, at the next stop the man left the bus. A few stops later, the woman thanked me. With a big smile, she departed the bus.

Sitting alone on the bus, I felt fulfilled. Having been bullied, I told myself that I would become strong enough to stop bullying. I never want to feel that way again, or let someone else feel that way. On the bus that day, I finally did it. I stopped a bully.

This incident proved to me that to be powerful, I don’t need to be aggressive, nor do I have to be the most out-spoken person in the room. I can just be a kind person, and do what is right.

#MinneAsianStories Series