“Returning from Nothing”

Thavyxay Tony Panyasiri

Lao | Prior Lake, MN | he/him/his | Non-Profit Sector

In November 2018 I stopped to visit Jeff at the Prior Lake Baptist Church. I asked him for a prayer to prepare me for what lay ahead. Little did I know I would need that prayer more than ever. That evening, the local news reported on how a homeless campground burned down. The following day, I loaded my pickup truck and delivered all of our camping equipment, supplies, bags of Jasmine rice, and even gave away my wrist watch to someone who had lost everything at the campground. Perhaps the universe was sending me a message, because my children and I would soon become homeless.

Divorce is complicated and in a series of turns my ex got custody of all the children, but the children refused to live with her so they lived with me. I didn’t file paperwork to make adjustments to our child custody situation and soon I couldn’t keep up. Our financial situation worsened.

I tried to find options to provide for my children, but in the dead of winter with no money or fuel, we were stranded. Panicked, I went around knocking on doors to find any help in order to keep us out of the deep freeze. I collapsed and prayed to God to spare my life. I promised to devote the rest of my days to make this world a better place. After hours in the cold, I saw flashing lights. It was the Prior Lake Police. They saved my life that night. 

When I returned home from the hospital, our lives drifted into even more uncertainty. I lost my vehicle. I had to walk 22.6 miles in the snow to get home after returning the car. It was excruciating on my knees. Where we lived there were no stop lights, just country lanes. After three hours of walking, I felt like an empty soul.

Day and night all blurred together in the few months that followed. My kids and I prayed hard for God to rescue us from what seemed like a living hell. With no phone or Internet, all we had was the Shakopee Library. I read story after story in search of a new paradise.

Books brought me hope and a sense of fulfillment. Reading them helped me see a world that felt unbreakable. When we finally received assistance through Dakota and Scott Counties, we had already lost everything. My two kids were in high school by then. I encouraged them to continue with their afterschool activities. We just made everything work even though we didn’t have a vehicle.

I was born and raised here in Minnesota. I wear the Minnesota Twins cap like it’s a crown. The local radio stations, farms, transit systems, churches, and the State of Minnesota helped us survive. Minnesota is my home. My community took care of me when I was down. Minnesotans have heart. 

It’s now my life’s mission to help anyone who may be lost or feel hopeless because I’ve been blessed. We are now in stable housing and I’m working on getting a vehicle. We survived.

#MinneAsianStories Series