Praying Away the Gay

Tito Cantuncan

Minneapolis, Minnesota | Filipino

Standing on the steps of the Capitol on this year’s Mental Health Day on the Hill, this queer Filipino American social worker could not have felt more proud getting to advocate for mental health after a long struggle with trauma and mental illness.

Growing up in a mostly white suburb of Chicago was difficult, especially when attending school. Being quickly targeted for being different, first for being Asian and later for being perceived as gay, life for this young brown boy was not a dream. Thoughts of giving up on life, endless anxiety about potential verbal or physical harassment from classmates, and “praying away the gay” never failed to overflow my mind. Eventually, thanks to my supportive parents, I was able to seek out help, which led me to finding out I was dealing with depression and generalized anxiety. Through undergoing therapy, I developed a purpose in wanting to help others through the mental health field as my therapist helped me.

While pursuing that purpose through studying psychology and sociology in college, I found community in other Asian Americans, LGBTQ folks, and people of color. Never before had I experienced such validation and an embracing of my identities. Thus it was a stage of life where I felt like I was no longer a victim and instead an empowered agent of change. I later decided to be vulnerable and take a risk, deciding to move to a new city on my own and start a new chapter as a Masters of Social Work student.

Through this experience and engaging with the community, I learned abundantly about trauma. Not only about what it is and how to treat it, but also how to see it manifest in my communities and especially myself. Thanks to the resilience I’ve fostered from my own traumatic experiences in my youth, I aim to give back to my communities by educating about mental health and trauma and helping folks on their path to recovery and advocate for their needs.

Even though various voices (either in our heads telling us we are not worthy or those in higher places who say our issues are irrelevant) may try to tell our communities that we do not matter, know that your voice, your trauma, your struggle, your resilience, your growth, and your power are valid and can be used to make great change in yourself and others.

#MinneAsianStories Series