“I Am Because We Are”

Pete Wong

Cantonese | Saint Paul, MN | he/him/his

I met Orpheus Black, my mentor and best friend while training with a mixed martial arts group in Los Angeles. He welcomed me, but as I’d like to think, we both sought each other out. We enjoyed each other’s company so much that we made much effort to be around each other more often. We made it our ritual. As our friendship grew, so did our comfort level. If I was afraid of asking him tough questions about his background and narrative before, the more time we spent together, the more eager I became to want to know him better. Just the same, he would ask about me. Of course both of us never considered each other as the ‘only representatives’ of our cultures, but we shared a love and pride for our people, including its history and traditions. Isn’t that what friendship is? Isn’t this what makes relationships a beautiful thing? When we come together to learn, to grow, to experience life. Choosing not to be afraid just to listen and share. “Each one, teach one” is what he’d say. When we accept each other for both our similarities as well as differences and for who we are as we are. To be present and discover each other’s truths and discover together. 

I have to admit I never fully appreciated and accepted Black people before my friendship with Orpheus. I unfortunately grew up thinking they were bad people and that I should live fearing them; and though I’m not proud of it, even embarrassed to say, the truth was I didn’t respect them. I know it was reinforced upon me, and am reminded that systematic racism was designed to see Black people as inhuman to keep them inferior to other races and groups. As disturbing and disgusting this discovery was, I had to face it and stop denying that this didn’t exist. Without noticing it, I no longer felt this way. I felt no fear, only love smashing my previous programming and having a better understanding and a path of empathy towards the Black community. 2020 was many things for many people.

I never expected to return to my hometown Minnesota, but after a post I made in response to the murder of George Floyd I was asked to leave the place I was living at. If standing up and speaking up meant supporting my best friend, mentor, now family, I have no regrets for my actions or consequences. I had my awakening. If I can be an example to others so that they don’t have to feel ashamed or afraid to have theirs, I’d do it over again. Why do Black Lives Matter? Because they do. 

Pete K. Wong is an educator, podcast host, and coach. Raised in Minnesota, Pete has worked in the film/TV industry, as a model, actor, writer, and director. An educator and coach in public schools and organizations, and a former head instructor with the Minnesota Mantis Kung Fu Association and assistant instructor with Bloodline Hybrid Boxing in Los Angeles, California. ​Pete has lived and taught in Hong Kong, China and the USA. He has held workshops, guest spoken in public schools, senior assisted living houses, corporations, non-profit organizations, and other businesses on the topic of self care and being a two time suicide survivor. He will be publishing a health and wellness book and begin writing his next one on healthy masculinity and growing up an Asian man in the Midwest. You can listen to conversations about mental health and wellness on The Pete Wong Podcast.

Instagram: @petekwong
www.unleashdabeast.net