“I am Enough”

Brianna To

Vietnamese | Burnsville, MN | she/her/hers | Student

As a young person who grew up in a predominantly white community, I felt that to relate to white Americans I had to hide who I was. I was ashamed of being Asian. My family was different from our white neighbors, and I was embarrassed by our difference. I was made to feel like I needed to be like the white people around us or I wouldn’t be accepted. It seemed like there was so much I needed to change.

When I was 9 years old, we moved into a suburban neighborhood, and my family decided to get dogs. Our neighbors complained and said our dogs were too loud, so they contacted the landlord. I had to give my dogs away. When I told my friends about it, they said, “You don’t have any dogs anymore because you ate them all.”

I didn’t fully understand racism then, but I was heartbroken that someone who I thought was a friend would say something like that. Still I didn’t blame my “friend.” Instead, I wished I weren’t Asian. I hated my identity, and told my parents so.

My dad understood why I felt that way, but he explained that it was good to be different. His words of encouragement helped. He told me, “Be you!” I knew he was right; I didn’t have to throw away who I was. I began working on finding myself.

In May 2018, my dad passed away. It was one of the most devastating moments in my life. I didn’t know how to cope, and wondered how I’d continued to exist without him. He’s taught me so many things about staying true to myself. It is how he lived his life, and as I reflect back now, I realize he did that so that I could carry on his legacy. As I follow my passion of building future generations, I will do so remembering dad’s words. I am a Vietnamese American woman, and that is perfect for me.

#MinneAsianStories Series