What being Asian-American means to Me

Taylor Her, Intern, she/her/hers

When I was asked to write for our CAAL Staff Corner, I thought it would be easy enough. The prompt, “What does being Asian American mean to you?” seemed simple. Oh, how wrong I was. While writing this piece, I realized that I do not know exactly what being Asian American means. I am still navigating this identity.

My upbringing was a blend of Hmong and American ideals. We were, “Fueled by the American Dream, but informed by our culture.” My mother and aunts were encouraged to pursue their education before they married, and my mother raised me in a similar vein. She encouraged me to pursue my education, but to also explore all of my interests and passions, no matter how niche. She would tell me to make a life out of the things I love, but to always remember where I came from, and to honor the generations before me and the legacy they created.

My life is defined by this mix of individualist and collectivist ideas. While this combination has provided me an abundance of amazing learnings and experiences, it has also placed me in a paradox. There were times where I was too foreign for American circles, but then too whitewashed for Hmong and Asian circles. I never quite fit into the Hmong or American identity, and I am still understanding what blending the two looks and feels like.

It is odd how something with so much sway on my life, like my own identity, can still be such an enigma. I do not know what being Asian American means to me yet. With time and growth, there will come a day when I know what being Asian American means to me. When that day comes, I will joyfully answer the question, “What does being Asian American mean to you?”