“My Breast”

Hedy Tripp

Singaporean | Saint Cloud, MN | she/her/hers

It was in December 1995. I just finished my Master’s program at St. Cloud State University. I finally found time to follow my doctor’s advice to have a baseline mammogram done. It showed an unusual shadow and a biopsy was taken.  As I awoke from the anesthesia my husband said that they found cancer cells.

My Husband Holds My Hand

No…It’s not true

Why me?

It can’t be happening…

My Husband holds my hand

Why, why cancer?

What did I do?

There was no lump, no pain…

Are you sure?

My Husband holds my hand

Would I lose my breast?

Would I be radiated?

Chemotherapeed? Poisoned?

Would I die?

My Life Partner holds my hand

I see death passing by

She stops at the bed’s edge

And shakes her head

It is not yet time…

My Lover holds my hand

Has the cancer invaded?

the other cells of my body?

Or just those few clusters

In my left breast?

My Black Husband still holds my hand

My breast that nursed three babies

Their sweet succulent lips suckling

Their very first drink of human life

A woman’s breast

Source of infinite pleasure

Yet conjured into sexual fantasies

Swollen in pornographic ecstasies

My breast

Cut and Assaulted

Mammogrammed and mastectomized

Radiated and Poisoned

But … My breasts do not define me

I am beautiful, I am a woman and I am whole.

In the spring of 1996, I was diagnosed with stage one intraductal breast cancer and had undergone a modified radical mastectomy.

I am a breast cancer survivor, and so far, am still cancer free. In my research, I found that Asian American women are the least likely group to have a mammogram done, and 41% are diagnosed when the cancer has metastasized (spread beyond the breast). This results in higher death rates. As an immigrant woman, I learned from studies that I am more likely to get breast cancer than US-born Asian American women.

Cancer led me to spoken word, and I’ve presented throughout the state of Minnesota, across the country, and even in Cambodia. I emphasize the need for early detection. I’ve also used my experience and work to bring awareness and push for policy changes to increase research that includes all ethnic groups within the Asian American diaspora. I have advocated for more funding to provide culturally competent outreach to Asian American communities. 

I am an immigrant Asian American woman and this is my breast cancer story.

#MinneAsianStories Series